How do you co-parent? There are many classes and books with suggestions on how to be successful in a co-parenting relationship. They are filled with studies and strategies, but I think they operate on a huge assumption - that the parents can communicate effectively. In today's politically correct world, no one wants to accept the fact that sometimes the ideal scenario is totally impractical.
In California especially there is a huge push to have both parents actively involved in the children's lives, which I agree with whole heartedly. However what happens when one parent refuses to honor the other parent's input, comply with court orders, and insists on attacking the other parent instead of trying to work towards meeting the child's needs? This process is additionally difficult when the children are younger because the courts do not like to talk to the children - I understand it can be a stressful experience but they ignore the stress that child experiences in their day to day life.
What do we do? I wish I had an answer. It seems like no one wants to listen to the reality of the situations the piece of paper which the judged signed has created. No one wants to believe that an adult can be so selfish and deceitful even to the detriment of their own children... no one wants to believe, but it happens. In my experience there has never been any repercussions for the violations of the court order, therefore without consequences the abuse and behavior continues.
The tragedy is that the children must endure this behavior. The courts want parents to come to an agreement and conduct themselves as responsible adults - we all wish that were the case. It is just frustrating as a father to feel so helpless when I know my daughters are hurting. I know I can only control my actions and the environment that I create for them, but at some point there has to be a wake up call.
Sorry to vent - I just believe I am not alone...
Comments