A Battered Warrior

What Is Your House Built On?

1 Corinthians 3:10-15  “…each one should be careful how he builds. For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ. If any man builds on his foundation using gold, silver, costly stones, wood, hay, or straw, his work will be shown for what it is, because the Day will bring it to light. It will be revealed with fire, and the fire will test the quality if each man’s work. If what he has built survives, he will receive his reward. If it is burned up, he will suffer loss; he himself will be saved, but only as one escaping through the flames.”

 

 

 

            Paul wrote this when he was addressing divisions in the church and talking about the importance of each person’s role; one plants, one waters, but only God makes it grow. Today we are bombarded with a message telling us we need to get everything we can and we need to accumulate “things” in order to be successful. Unfortunately we have seen this message infect the churches too, but just as the early church we need to remind ourselves to inspect our foundation. Are we applying Biblical principles and teachings to our lives or are we making comfort based decisions based on our own desires? Do we choose to buy that new car or the more luxurious home, knowing that we really cannot afford it? During times of financial stress what is the first thing Christians cut out? – A tithe. God’s is supposed to come first but more often than not we give God what is left over, if anything, after we have fulfilled out wants and desires. What is your foundation?

 

When Was The Last Time...

Psalm 66   “Shout with joy to God, all the earth! Sing the glory of his name; make his praise glorious! Say to God, “How awesome are your deeds! So great is your power that your enemies cringe before you. All the earth bows down to you; they sing praise to you, they sing praise to your name. Come and see what God has done, how awesome his works in man’s behalf! He turned sea into dry land, they passed through waters on foot – come, let us rejoice in him. He rules forever in his power, his eyes watch the nations – let not the rebellious rise up against him. Praise our God, O peoples, let the sound of his praise be heard; he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping. For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver. You brought us into prison and laid burdens on our backs. You let men ride over our heads; we went through fire and water, but you brought us to a place of abundance. I will come to your temple with burnt offerings and fulfill my vows to you – vows my lips promised and my mouth spoke when I was in trouble. I will sacrifice fat animals to you and an offering of rams; I will offer bulls and goats. Come and listen, all you who fear God; let me tell you what he has done for me. I cried out to him with my mouth; his praise was on my tongue. If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened; but God has surely listened and heard my voice in prayer. Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!”

 

            When was the last time you thanked God for things he has already done? This Psalm celebrates and thanks God for making dry land for man, parting the sea, and constantly watching over us. Those are the easy things to be thankful but the Psalm is not finished. When was the last time you thanked God for his trials, the very trials that are necessary to refine us and make us into what God has called us to be? The writer thanks God for placing them in prison, allowing men to ride over their heads, and the tests they had to endure! It is easy to thank God for the good things in our lives, but we must also understand that the trials we experience are often needed to change our perspective and ultimately our hearts.

            After the trials have passed and God has brought us through, what’s next?  Often we simply wipe the sweat or tears from our faces and continue on our path. The Psalmist doesn’t do that. He honors his promises that he made to God during his trial. We cry out to God when we are tested, often making promises we have no intention of fulfilling (that is another issue) and when God delivers us we forget we ever promised anything. We lied to God. We want God to honor his promises to us whenever we ask but rarely do we hold ourselves to the same standard. Think about the unfulfilled promises you have made, do not justify why you broke them, accept that you did and repent. We have all prayed, “God if you get me through this one I promise I will NEVER….” God knew your heart when you said it and often times he blessed you anyway – but how might the blessing have been different if you meant it? Did receive EVERYTHING God had for you? Sure in your mind you might say, “I meant to but…” Proverbs 16:2 “All a man’s ways seem innocent to him, but the motives are weighed by the Lord.”  When you cry out what is your motive – to stop the pain or have you learned what God intended and truly changed your heart or applied the lesson?

Who's On First?

 

 

    

            Cooperative parenting?  It is a nice concept but practical application can be trying at best. Cooperative parenting operates on one assumption; each parent’s desire to do what is best for the children outweighs than any differences they may have had in the past. These differences resolved or not, can be placed aside while they work together for the good of the children. If you can do it, the children will benefit from a more secure and stable environment and that is the ultimate goal.

            However, when one parent lives for conflict and drama cooperative parenting can be a nightmare. My ex-wife seems to live for drama; she is due to deliver a child any day now. Her and her boyfriend should be happy, but she refuses to tell me her plans for our daughters. If she is giving birth who’s watching the other children? It seems simple enough – but no. She insists that it is none of my business and starts the drama again. She was placed on bed rest and I offered to keep the girls that night and take them to school so she could go to her appointment. She exploded, threatening to call the police if I did not let her friend pick the children up from me. I forgot to mention, this demand came via text message after she was already 5 minutes late – no advanced warning, no common courtesy, I was expected to hand my daughters over to someone else.

            We are supposed to work on deciding a school for my oldest daughter, but she refuses to compromise on anything and refuses to disclose her recommendation.  So each suggestion I offer is greeted with a swift no and a shotgun blast of excuses. At first I would try to systematically address each reason she offered only to have the reasons change. Quickly frustration sets in. Now we are forced to wait on a court appointed mediator to hear our case and then the courts will decide something that could easily be decided if each parent were willing to approach issues open minded.

            Of course there are two sides to every story, but there are certain things that make a cooperative environment impossible. Once you are divorced there are boundaries that need to be respected – you each are allowed to move forward. If you are still trying to lie to each other about petty issues, it puts you both on the defensive. Each side must respect the other; they must openly consider their suggestion and reach a workable compromise. Cooperation is not a win/lose proposition – you both sacrifice things in order to reach an agreement that is genuinely best for the children. You have to be able to put aside your own personal feelings for the other person, your own selfish desires (convenience, revenge, etc), and solely look at the children. When two people cannot agree or discuss anything rationally then we are left with the Abbott and Costello bit, “Who’s on First”. The circles continue and the frustrations mount. Nothing is resolved, the children are pushed aside, and the damage continues. How hard is it to be objective?

            I purposely avoided mentioning the circumstances surrounding my divorce – she found a boyfriend. She wants a divorce. They move in together and she becomes pregnant (before the divorce is final). I am not bitter, I just want peace. She lied about her living situation to obtain spousal support, so any interaction I have with her is tainted by her desire to perpetuate her lie about her living arrangement. She knows that once the courts find out she lied under oath, the support stops, so she is trying to protect it. Yes I want the support to stop so I can pay my legal fees, but my children need to come first. The tit for tat mentality only serves to annoy and frustrate. The truly sad part, besides the children, is that the mediator will hand down a decision, if it is not 100% what she wants, she will be angry. When she is angry she violates the orders and the circle continues. I guess I am writing in hopes that someone else going through this knows they are not alone and just maybe there is someone that is fueling the drama that might understand. Both sides need to respect the boundaries but in situations involving the children there needs to be honesty, only then can there be respect and trust re-established which are essential for a cooperative environment.

 

Need Rescued?

 

 

Psalm 18:1-6, 16-19  “I love you, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. The cords of death entangle me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me. In my distress I called to the Lord; I cried to my God for help. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came before him, into his ears… He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.”

Drama And Conflict?

James 4:1-6  “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but you don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you do ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your own pleasures. You adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred towards God? Anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God. Or do you think Scripture says without reason that the spirit he caused to live in us envies intensely? But he gives us more grace. That is why the scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’”

 

            What causes conflict or drama in our lives? When we have unfulfilled desires we have conflict. Only when we learn to rely on God to meet our needs, not our desires, will we truly be at peace with ourselves. Our very nature is to envy and covet, we want to collect things. Though the things we normally want are not substantial, not filling, and only temporary “fixes” for our addiction. The more we have, the more we want. This is totally opposite to what God wants for us; he wants us to be content, to trust that he will provide for us, and to seek first the kingdom of God and not be distracted by this world.

            This passage is not calling us to shun the lost, or people of the world. Being a “friend of the world” is embracing its values and rejecting God’s. The world teaches us to watch out for number one and that it is ok to get ahead by any means necessary – lie, cheat, steal, etc. God teaches calls us to love, give, and serve. If we choose to seek pleasure of this world, or the flesh, then we are rejecting God.  To love the world is to hate God, there is no middle ground. We are programmed to look for the loop hole, God is black and white, no grey.

            Want the drama to leave you? Want the conflicts to cease? Instead of focusing outward, look inward and see who your actions show you love…

 

How Do You Pray?

  

 

How do you pray?  Are your prayers simple or are they equivalent to a Shakespearian Masterpiece? Do you pray only in public or only in private? Do you pray out loud or in silence? Are your prayers scripted, following a set recipe, or are they just candid? Do you only pray in times of trouble or have daily dialogue?

Most people would claim, in public or on a survey, they pray daily, but I wonder.  There was an anthropological study conducted concerning the amount of alcohol a “typical” family consumed in a certain area. The study was twofold; first they asked the people in the neighborhood how much alcohol they consumed. Second they went through the people’s trash before it was picked up on trash day. The results of the survey said that the “typical” family consumed considerably less than the national average, somewhere around half as much. However, the trash told another story – once they went through the garbage they discovered the families consumed slightly more than the national average! The point is that we all know what we are “supposed” to say or do, but the truth is often buried in an effort to protect ourselves from perceived scrutiny.

There are numerous books on prayer and it seems like everyone has advice or an opinion but what does the Bible say. We are all familiar with the prayer, “Our father in heaven hallowed be your name…” (NIV Matt 6:9) Most are familiar with the prayer, but few continue to read beyond the prayer. In the verses immediately following the prayer Jesus speaks about the need for us to forgive each  other in order for God to forgive us. There are other verses that say that if we ask in Jesus’ name then God will answer our requests. So is there one set way to pray? A magic formula that works all the time? A prayer cookbook: mix some thanks, a little forgiveness, and a touch of confession, gently speak for ten minutes and let God think for about an hour.

I believe that a person’s prayers are between God and them, they are a personal conversation and essential to nurture our relationship with God. There are key components to prayers and the Bible provides us guidelines, but pray is more about the heart than simply following a predetermined script. Daily prayer is ok, but how about constant, random throughout the day, or even continual? When we pray are we constantly asking for God, never stopping to listen or acknowledge the blessing he has given us – taken the time to be grateful? Do we treat God like a genie? – God give me this, grant me that… There is a time and a place to ask God for blessings etc, and God wants to bless us, but communication is not dictation it requires listening too.

After reading this, hopefully some people will stop to think – I know I have as I wrote it. It is pretty embarrassing and humbling to honestly look at how I have prayed in the past. God is not a genie in the sky waiting to grant our every whim, to treat Him as such would mean that WE are His master, which is simply not the case. God has called us to serve him but he has also called us into a relationship. Think of how you react when someone only wants to talk to you when they need something, want something, want to complain, or just to blame you for everything.  If you don’t appreciate it, why treat God that way?

 

How Much Did Your Bible Cost?

 

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,534728,00.html

 

    As I was reading the news today, this story jumped off the pages at me. North Korea sees Christianity as a threat to its regime...  I have know people who smuggled Bibles into China and various other Communist states, I saw how our faith was a political lightening rod when we were in Iraq, but for some reason this story caused me to really think. The woman was not only executed but her entire family was taken to a prison camp, even her children. A public execution then the next day the family is taken away...

    I know in my home I have several Bibles - different translations, children's Bibles, etc. Unfortunately it seems a lot of Bibles are used more for dust collecting than for reading. Stories like this should remind us how truly blessed we are and how real the war against Christianity is. So, how much did your Bible cost?

Memo From God....

I received this in an email...just had to share.

 

MEMO FROM GOD:

Effective immediately, please be aware that there are changes you need to make in your life. These changes need to be completed in order that I may fulfill my promises to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in this life. I apologize for any inconvenience, but after all that I am doing, this seems very little to ask of you. I know, I already gave you the 10 Commandments. Keep them. But follow these guidelines, also.

QUIT WORRYING
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here to take all your burdens and carry them for you? Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little thing that comes your way?

PUT IT ON THE LIST
Something needs done or taken care of. Put it on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY to-do-list! . Let ME be the one to take care of the problem. I can't help you until you turn it over to me. And although my to-do-list is long, I am after all, God. I can take care of anything you put into my hands. In fact, if the truth were ever really known, I take
care of a lot of things for you that you never even realize.

TRUST ME
Once you've given your burdens to me, quit trying to take them back. Trust in me. Have the faith that I will take care of all your needs, your problems and your trials. Problems with the kids? Put them on my list. Problem with finances? Put it on my list. Problems with your emotional roller coaster? For my sake, put it on my list. I want to help
you. All you have to do is ask.

LEAVE IT ALONE
Don't wake up one morning and say, "Well, I'm feeling much stronger now, I think I can handle it from here." Why do you think you are feeling stronger now? It's simple. You gave me your burdens and I'm taking care of them. I also renew your strength and cover you in my peace. Don't you know that if I give you these problems back, you will be right back where you started? Leave them with me and forget about them. Just let me do
my job.

TALK TO ME
I want you to forget a lot of things. Forget what was making you crazy. Forget the worry and the fretting because you know I'm in control. But there's one thing I pray you never forget. Please don't forget to talk to me - OFTEN! I love you. I want to hear your voice. I want you to include me in on the things going on in your life. I want to hear you talk about
your friends and family. Prayer is simply you having a conversation with me. I want to be your dearest friend.

HAVE FAITH
I see a lot of things from up here that you can't see from where you are. Have faith in me that I know what I'm doing. Trust me, you wouldn't want the view from my eyes. I will continue to care for you, watch over you, and meet you! r needs. You only have to trust me. Although I have a much bigger task than you, it seems as if you have so much trouble just doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

 

Yeah But....

Luke 5:1-7  “One day as Jesus was standing by the Lake of Gennesaret, with the people crowding around him and listening to the word of God, he saw at the water’s edge two boats, left there by fishermen, who were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, ‘Put out into deep water, and let down your nets for a catch.’ Simon answered, ‘Master, we’ve worked hard all night and haven’t caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets.’ When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that their nets began to break. So they signaled their partners in the other boat to come and help them, and they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink.”

            Did Simon want to let out his nets? I do not believe he did, his immediate response was to tell Jesus that they already worked all night and had nothing to show for it. Simon was a fisherman, he knew the waters and when to fish – the best time to catch fish was most likely at night. In his mind he had doubt but he was obedient! He did not let his limited knowledge stop him from following Jesus’ instructions. Through his simple obedience, Simon was blessed beyond his understanding. So many fish that it was breaking their nets, they had to call their friends to help, and still the harvest was so large it was causing two boats to sink. We need to follow Simon’s example, do not allow our finite knowledge to impede us from following God’s guidance. Simple obedience can bring blessings beyond our comprehension.

Chaff And Straw?

Isaiah 33:10-16  “Now will I arise, says the Lord. Now will I be exalted; now will I be lifted up. You conceive chaff, you give birth to straw; your breath is a fire that consumes you. The people will be burned as if to lime; like cut thornbushes they will be set ablaze. You who are far away, hear what I have done; you who are near, acknowledge my power! The sinners in Zion are terrified; trembling grips the godless: ‘Who of us can dwell in the consuming fire? Who of us can dwell with everlasting burning?’ He who walks righteously and speaks what is right, who rejects  gain from extortion and keeps his hand from accepting bribes, who stops his ears against plots of murder and shuts his eyes against contemplating evil – this is the man who will dwell on the heights, whose refuge will be the mountain fortress. His bread will be supplied, and water will not fail him.”

            At first these verses might seem a little confusing. The reference to chaff and straw would have been well known to the people of the time, it is referring to the harvesting of grain. The chaff and the straw were the left over parts, the ones that were thrown out, typically burned after all the grain was harvested. Now rereading the passage it is clear that our own efforts are futile. When we try to do things on our own nothing good, no fruit, comes from our own efforts and we are consumed.  Look at the last few lines, what God says about the man who walks righteously. God promises us refuge and he will meet our needs. It does not say that we will always have excess or luxury, but we will be taken care of and protected.

Where Is Your Focus?

Isaiah 32:17  “The fruit of righteousness will be peace; the effect of righteousness will be quietness and confidence forever.”

 

 

 

 

 

            When we live in a way that is pleasing to God he will make even our enemies live in peace with us.  This verse is a promise from God, a righteous life will be blessed by peace and confidence. Will there be conflict, times of struggle, or heartache? Yes. Though God will protect us, he will never let us be consumed by the world as long as we keep our focus on him.

In my life I have learned that I can find peace in any situation if I take my eyes off my problems and focus on God. Often times the solution to our problems does not necessarily require a change of circumstance or surroundings, just simply a change in attitude and focus. What is your focus?

Thoughts To Share

 

 

http://batteredwarrior.typepad.com/forgiving/2009/07/happy-to-cause-chaos.html

 

No Where To Turn.....

Psalm 56      "Be merciful to me, O God, for men hotly pursue me; all day long they press their attack. My slanderers pursue me all day long; many are attacking me in their pride.  When I am afraid, I will trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can a mortal man do to me? All day long they twist my words; they are always plotting to harm me. They conspire, they lurk, they watch my steps, eager to take my life. On no account let them escape; in your anger, O God, bring down the nations. Record my lament; list my tears on your scroll - are they not in your record? Then my enemies will turn back when I call for help. By this I will know that God is for me. In God, whose word I praise - in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?  I am under vows to you, O God; I will present my thank offerings to you. For you have delivered me from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of life."

 

 

 

    Have you ever had to deal with someone that seemed determined to fight and argue?  Nothing you can do will defuse the situation and anything you say will be manipulated and distorted?  It is at those times we need to call on God and trust in him. From the Psalm we can see that David was under constant attack and seemingly at wits end - but he called on God and he trusted God to deliver him.  The verse to keep in mind, "..in God I trust; I will not be afraid. What can a mortal man do to me?"      

    God is in control, the more we turn over to him the more peace and joy we will experience. That is not to say we will not have conflict or trials in our lives, though through God we will endure. God will be our sanctuary and our resting place. When Peter stepped out of the boat to walk towards Jesus, he was fine as long as he kept his eyes and focus on Jesus. Our daily lives are no different, focus on God and all things are possible through him.

In All My Life...

Psalm 37:25  "I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken or their children begging bread."

 

 

 

    In our lives we often find ourselves in trials and struggles. During these times we must never forget that God will not forsake us. We are works in progress; God is shaping us and forming us into what He has called us to be. We will be stretched and molded in ways we never imagined but our faith must remain in God. We do not know what the end result of His works will be, no more than a block of marble knows what the sculptor envisions... we only know that like the marble, in the end we will be works of art.

Having Control Going Through A Divorce

A large part of the impact that one feels when going through divorce is due to the loss of control that often accompanies it. Undisputed numbers suggest that over 85% of all divorces are initiated by the woman, and so we guys are often blindsided and forced to deal with this major life change with little or no preparation.

We then must make decisions regarding attorneys and other members of our divorce team (you knew that it's best, if possible to assemble a team, didn't you?) on the fly. The fact that there is little time for preparation before we must hit the ground running (she's already cruising along at 100mph), that we must respond thoughtfully and intelligently to her and her lawyer's demands, that we hope our attorney is responsive and truly working to protect our best interests and the best interests of our children, that we are probably dealing with the emotional reality of somehow working this out with our children so that they continue to feel loved and secure while the world caves in around them.

DadsDivorce.com sponsoring partner, Cordell & Cordell, P.C., a law firm focusing on men going through divorce, is featuring a new addition to their already comprehensive services with all these challenges in mind. A good divorce attorney empowers his client. He does not hide behind the veil of convenience simply because interacting with a client takes time. The client might have questions, comments or suggestions.  The client deserves to know exactly what he is being billed for and what the balance is that remains in his account.  The client needs organizational tools to help him build his case and to keep him informed of important upcoming dates, meetings, and court appearances.

With this in mind, Cordell & Cordell, P.C., is introducing their Client Collaboration Center on the DadsDivorce.com website.

There, clients of Cordell & Cordell, P.C. will find immediate 24/7 access to their client records, an attorney/client forum that allows them to pose questions to their attorney at any time, a custody calendar that allows them to organize their lives around their children while keeping track of child support payments, doctors visits, school information and additional items, as well as all client billing information.

The Cordell & Cordell Client Collaboration Center returns the control and confidence to a client who otherwise might feel out of his comfort zone and continually playing catch-up.

Rick Ortiz is the editor of DadsDivorce.com

Anxious? Full of Fear?

Psalm 127:1-2  “Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the Lord guards the city, the guard keeps watch in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious toil; for he gives sleep to his beloved.”

Matthew 11: 28-31  “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Luke 12:25-26  “Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life? If then you are not able to do so small a thing as that, why do you worry about the rest.”

 

 

    We all have periods in our life when we are anxious about the future or afraid of the unknown.  These are the times when we must put our faith in God and allow Him to calm and sooth our spirit.  We can not control our world, no matter how hard we try, but through God and our relationship with him we can find peace.  
    Anxiety and fear can have devastating effects on our body - lack of sleep, loss of appetite, panic attacks, chest pains, etc. For all the time we spend worrying about things we can not control what do we get?  What is the return on our time? Nothing!  We lose those hours and all that energy for nothing It is "easier said than done," but we must teach ourselves to turn those fears over to God, hand him our worries - he already knows them.  Allow him to carry our burdens and lighten our load. Once we are able to accept that God is God and limitless while acknowledging that we are limited and finite, only then can we experience the freedom, joy, and peace God has intended for us.

 

How Soon We Forget....

 

 

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/07/14/group-seeks-block-god-trust-engraving/

 

      I understand people's desire for religious freedom and freedom of expression, though I do not understand ignoring our history.  This group is moving to block the the phrase "In God We Trust" and the Pledge from being displayed at the Capitol Visitor Center. They claim that using tax payer's money would be the same as the government endorsing a religion. 

    What about when the government uses tax payer money to pay for educational programs a special interest group does not endorse? What about funding for a program that a different group does not approve of?  How about paying for our military - some people are totally against our military. 

    Like it or not our country was founded based on religious views - should we censor the Pilgrims? The Pilgrims were a group of people that had very strong beliefs in God, if we use tax dollars to purchase books with Pilgrims in them, that talk about their beliefs - is that a government endorsement?

    I think President Reagan said it best... "If we ever forget that we are one nation under God, then we will be a nation gone under."

 

Here is a link to the comments on Fox...

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/07/14/group-seeks-block-god-trust-engraving/comments/

 

Building Blocks of Sin...

Proverbs 6:16-19  "There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him; haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers."

 

 

 

    As we pray and ask God to forgive us of our sins, think about how many times we do these seven things.  How many of our sins begin with a lie, haughty eyes, etc? The Bible tells us that our heart is deceitfully wicked, yet how many times do we choose to indulge in pleasures of the flesh instead of being obedient to God? 

    Our struggles with sin are continuous but all sin can be broken down to simple beginnings.  It is only through prayer and daring to be totally honest with God, not justifying but daring to be real, can we truly be free. 

What If......

        As the circumstances surrounding the deaths of Steve McNair and Michael Jackson unfold we are starting to see into the darker more private aspects of their lives.  I do not advocate judging them at all, it is not our place.  It did raise some interesting questions.  If you died right now, what dirty secrets would your loved ones find? A secret lover? A hidden addiction? What would they learn about the “true” you that would be embarrassing?  Unfortunately most of us have something that we are not proud of, a hidden vice, or a little secret that we work so hard to hide from everyone.  How much energy do we spend try to hold on to our vice and then covering our tracks? 

       We all know our own secrets, we know what is wrong and we are reminded each time we indulge ourselves.  Over time our discomfort wanes and our appetite increases, eventually we become a slave to our addiction.  We are soon consumed by guilt. The guilt coupled with shame separates us further from God and His ability to free us from this addiction, thus our downward spiral continues. This secret sin not only starts to take over our lives it hinders our relationship with God, effectively destroying us on two levels. 

      Take the time to ask yourself, “If I died right now, what would they find?” Anything we are hiding needs to be dealt with, nothing is beyond forgiveness and through God we can break any addiction.  The first step is to face yourself, be honest about what you are doing and why – no excuses or justification – just a good honest assessment.  In life we are promised nothing and once our time has come there are no “do overs.”  

On Independence Day....

Psalm 112  "Praise the Lord.  Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands.  His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed. Wealth and riches are in his house, and his righteousness endures forever.  Even in darkness light dawns for the upright, for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.  Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely, who conducts his affairs with justice.  Surely he will never be shaken; a righteous man will be remembered forever.  He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord.  His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes.  He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor, his righteousness endures forever; his horn will be lifted high in honor.  The wicked man will see and be vexed, he will gnash his teeth and waste away; the longings of the wicked will come to nothing."

 

 

 

    As I was sitting on my couch trying to decide how to spend my fourth of July holiday, I began to read my Bible.  I normally start reading Proverbs but today I found myself in Psalms and Psalm 112 jumped out at me.  Everyday we should celebrate our independence and freedom from this world and rejoice in the comfort of this verse.  No matter how dark it gets, what bad news may come, or the wicked that plots against us God will pour out His blessings upon us.  How freeing is it knowing that we have already won?  Knowing the ones that plot against us will be left unfulfilled? That is true freedom.

 

Deep Healing

Psalm 32:1-5  "Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, 'I will confess my transgressions to the Lord'- and you forgave the guilt of my sin."

 

 

 

     Holding on to sin and distancing ourselves from God is equated to our bones decaying. We are robbed of our energy as we wrestle with the guilt, all of our resources are invested in this internal struggle. Though once we confess our sins and are forgiven we are renewed and our spirits are healed.

    There is a very key part of these verses that may be overlooked, the part where it speaks of "deceit". Our confessions must be genuine, not simply a rehearsed or scripted banter - "Pray this prayer when you have done this....don't forget to say you are sorry X number of times..." God looks for sincerity in our confessions, He weighs our hearts and our desire to change. This is not to say that we will never sin again or that we will never commit the same sin, but the more honest our confession is the more God can change our hearts.

     If we allow Him, God will continually change our hearts so that they align with His own. Through this process our hearts are softened and we are drawn closer to Him. Confession is the key.

Tit For Tat....

 

 

    Today I had to catch myself, my ex-wife continues to use the children as messengers - something I have repeatedly asked her not to do.  At least this time there was a note to accompany the message. The note was simple, "hair stuff, silver belt, tupperware."  No request, no reference, not even another word - just simple those three items were on the sheet of paper.  My daughter explained that "mommy wanted to make sure we brought those items to her."  Ok I get the hair stuff (pony tail holder) and the belt - they were actually in the car last time we just forgot to grab them when they went with her. Tupperware? I was at a loss.  I asked my daughter what tupperware she was wanting - since I knew nothing was sent to my home in tupperware. Then it came out - "Mommy says she left things at my school and that you probably have it."  I was annoyed. Most of my frustration was because she refuses to take the children to the school anymore, instead opting to bounce them from babysitter to babysitter on the days they are with her. Besides the stability concerns for the girls (they have been attending this school for over 3 years), the school is 3 minutes from where I just picked them up!  She wants me to be accountable for items she left at a school - I do not even know what tupperware she had there to begin with. She was at the school that day and she left it - but now it is supposedly my responsibility to get it for her?

    I told my daughter I would handle it and dismissed it, I made sure not to show my annoyance to them or say anything negative. Then it started. My internal dialog... "Hmmm I should send her a note: Countless pony tail holders, 2 pair of jeans, dvds, toys, the girls computer..." Soon I was thinking of all the things my daughters had taken to her house and were not allowed to bring back - I felt my jaw tense.  Then it hit me - WHO CARES?  Yes I had the yellow rubber band, it was already in a zip lock bag and the belt was beside it. Why am I allowing this to bug me?

    She has been working on alienating the girls from me - would not allow me to see them on Father's Day, constantly attacking things the girls and I do, just really nasty stuff.  Though I have found an inner peace through all this... Prayer.  My girls know the truth and they actually tell me these things freely and I reply to them all the same, "As long as we know what is going on and we are safe and having fun, it doesn't matter what other people think." Even when they continue to mention things and make it so easy to attack their mother, I try to assure them that we both love them and sometimes things just do not make sense and it is hard to know why things happen or people do things sometimes, it is best to ask that person. I have found that through this open dialog my daughters actually draw closer to me. They feel free to discuss things they are worried about or concerns - at the end of the day that is what is important.

    When we got home we placed the items next to the list and set them on the counter so we would not forget them.  I will ask the school about the tupperware - but if they do not have it I am not going to worry about it. I guess the point I am trying to make is that the children must ALWAYS be considered first.  Those of us that have "less than a cooperative" other parent, we must take the high road - not because we want to but because it is what our children NEED us to do.  The children see much more than we can ever imagine and understand far more than we give them credit for.  They will also attempt to protect their parents - if they know that one parent continually attacks the other, they are going to be far less likely to talk about things to the aggressive parent. Children need stability and security, ensure that you are truly acting in their best interest and not out of spite. Once you have created that stable, consistent environment for them you will be amazed at how they respond. We all have people in our life that stress us out - we do not do anything to set them off if we can help it, why would we think our children would not do the same?  One last thought, if your children see you attacking and always criticizing their other parent and they feel that stress, how likely are they going to bring you serious issues? If you flip out about a pony tail holder or grill them over what happens at the other house, do you think they will tell you when someone "touches them" or hurts them?  Think about it! Before you start to get drawn into the game think about the cost, it is not worth it - your children know it, it is time you do too!