by Rick Ortiz
There are many reasons as to why many in the family court system do not educate themselves about the form of child abuse known as Parental Alienation Syndrome. To begin with, because PAS is a form of abuse it exhibits its symptoms in a rather altered manner when compared to the subtleties of traditionally accepted abuse. Though it has been formally studied for the past 20 years, PAS is relatively new and understanding it requires the immersion in the subject matter that is usually reserved for researchers and parents desperate to regain contact with children who seemingly want nothing at all to do with them ever again.
Understanding PAS requires enduring the learning curve of understanding exactly what is and what is not Parental Alienation Syndrome. It is understandable that judges, guardians ad litem, attorneys, psychologists and others still try to brush aside the evidence that this form of abuse does in fact exist. Fortunately there are reliable resources out there to better understand the syndrome. There are support groups of parents who have gone through it. There are even emerging studies of adult children who were coerced to participate seemingly willingly in the alienation of themselves from their parents.
PAS exhibits itself in the behavior of the abused child with the following overly sophisticated "unchildlike" characteristics:
1. a campaign of denigration seemingly originating from the child;
2. weak, frivolous, and absurd rationalizations for the deprecation of the target parent;
3. lack of ambivalence in the child;
4. the “independent thinker” phenomenon in which the child, regardless of age, asserts (sometimes before being asked) that he/she came up with these judgements on their own;
5. reflexive support of the alienating parent in the parental conflict;
6. absence of guilt over cruelty to and/or exploitation of the alienated parent;
7. presence of borrowed scenarios;
8. spread of animosity to the extended family of the alienated parent.
There usually aren't the tell-tale signs such as bruises and broken bones associated with physical abuse, although because every case is different, these can accompany PAS. But with Parental Alienation Syndrome, the abuser utilizes a much more subtle form of mental abuse of his child. In fact the abuser or "alienating" parent might actually on some level believe him or herself that they are actually protecting the child by alienating the child from the other parent. They may actually believe that the child has arrived at the above methods of offense against the other parent because the other parent truly is worthy of only scorn.
It is of utmost importance that the parent who finds him or herself becoming the target of this form of child abuse educate themselves about not only the symptoms, causes and patterns of this pathology, but that they not stop there. They who are discovering that they are targeted are fortunately arriving on the scene at a time when authoritative resources are not only emerging, but actually being heard by those who make the decisions in family court. There are professionals at all levels of the litigation system as well as social workers, mental health professionals, and in fact (because PAS has been identified as a real disorder by people in all walks of life who have had it happen to themselves or someone they love) it is also finding its way into the world view of the general public.
But the target parent who identifies him or herself as such must move fast. It is important to do so because PAS, as a form of brainwashing, is a progressive form abuse that becomes more entrenched in the mind of the child as time under the influence of the alienating parent goes on. So, the target parent must quickly not only avoid those who would profess to "having experience with PAS" and find those who truly have made it their area of expertise. An expert impostor is just as dangerous for your particular case as a brain surgeon impostor would be to the well-being of your mind.
The tactics of an alienating parent are subtle. They are generally invisible to the family court system and the persuasiveness of a child caught in the throes of the abuse is a master at articulating convincingly and dramatically why they are "in danger" if they have to spend a single minute with the target parent. This is why Parental Alienation Syndrome is such a difficult disorder to unmask and fight, because it doesn't operate according to logic and because the attacks from the alienated child are so devastating and disproportionate that they do what they are designed to do: to make everyone including the entire court and even the target parent's head spin. This is the backwards logic that the PAS expert must have developed a kind of second-nature in understanding how to deal with. Most professionals untrained in the specifics of PAS will be thrown off balance by it, and you as a target cannot afford this. Too much is at stake.
Some noteworthy and authoritative places to begin one's fight against Parental Alienation are http://www.pasattorney.com , http://www.paskids.com, and check our ongoing coverage of the issue of Parental Alienation Syndrome and coverage of the recent Canadian Symposium For Parental Alienation Syndrome.
Rick Ortiz is the editor of DadsDivorce.com, a site with resources and information for fathers and men at any stage of divorce.
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