Hebrews 13:5 "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; Never will I forsake you.'"
It is "funny" how this is passage is taken from a section speaking about Marriage and Adultery. I find myself looking at my divorce and being angry because it seems so unfair. Then I am reminded that I am not to judge and where the world may think it is unfair, God's promises will get me through. Yes, there are times when I am so angry at everyone and just feel like I am not being heard, but then something will happen to let me know that he is still taking care of me. I have to figure out how to break the cycle and truly turn it all over to God, every time I pull it out of His hands I spend hours repenting and crying. Not to mention the countless hours I spend "trying to figure it all out". It is so hard to have faith that things will be OK, especially when you feel like your entire world was a lie and have just seen it crumble.
I have made myself a promise, when I get to feeling lost and hopeless I will write my thoughts and my fears. When I get all the anger and hatred out of me - I will begin to pray and let God take it. Tell Him that I do not want to hold this any longer and that I will trust in Him to provide for me and my daughters - that His will be done. I will repent for the bitterness and anger and pray to forgive my ex and "her drama"... but most importantly I have to realize that I need to allow God to deal with them and have him Heal me. Not heal a broken heart or anything like that - I mean mend my relationship with Him - if that is right, nothing else matters.
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