"A"

I forgive “A” for the lying, manipulation, cheating, cruelty, and overall abuse during our divorce. I admit and have confessed the things I did to help perpetuate things and any role I played in leading to the divorce. At times I still struggle with my desire to get revenge or make her hurt too and for that I am wrong. It is not my place to judge or condemn her for her actions, that is between her and God – just as it is between her boyfriend and God as well. I can not hold on to any of the anger or hatred I sometimes feel because that will ultimately consume me and become a poison to my spirit. If I do not forgive her completely, then God has promised – “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” (Matthew 6:14-15). I need to keep my heart soft so that I can be the father and the man God has called me to be. I often struggle with turning this issue over to God because my flesh wants a confession – a confession that will never come. I have to pray that God will soften her heart and that she will come to know him – but I do not pray that she will apologize, that is not my right. “But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” (Matthew 5:44) As I continue to turn this issue over to God, he continues to bless me – that alone is comfort enough. Through this I have learned several things about myself and my relationship with God. Often in my life I have tried to force things to happen the way “I think” they should and not allow God’s plan to happen. Let me rephrase that – I have fought against God’s will and the result is that things still happen and I get battered. I have put myself through so much suffering and pain that I was never intended to endure but since I chose my way instead of God’s, then the suffering was inevitable. I will not say that it is God’s will for people to divorce, he has established marriage as a sacred institution – however I believe he allows our hardened hearts and free will to destroy it if we choose to ignore His will. I believe that sometimes people marry the wrong person for the wrong reasons, just as I believe they marry the wrong person for the right reasons. The wrong person is still the wrong person. There are a couple verses I have found comfort in during my divorce and I offer them to others that might be in or have gone through a similar situation. Ecclesiastes 7:26 “I find more bitter than death the woman who is a snare, whose heart is a trap and whose hands are chains. The man who pleases God will escape her, but the sinner she will ensnare.” There is much debate about divorce and the Bible and if one may remarry. People quote several different scriptures to support their belief. I am not trying to debate the remarriage issue; I want to simply refer to 1 Corinthians 7:15. This passage is talking about marriage and when a Christian is married to a non believer. “But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace…” In my situation, my wife was a non believer and the closer I came in my relationship with God, the more problems we had. She ultimately had an affair and currently is living with him. It is difficult, but I must forgive her – even when she hurts my children. I rely on God to be my rock and guide me to be the father to my daughters he has called me to be. “A”, I forgive you and pray that God will help me to forgive you completely and replace the hurt and anger I have with His love and peace. I pray that you will come to know God and experience His peace and forgiveness. I place our divorce and the hurt from it into God’s hands and ask his forgiveness for my sins and to help me to forgive you completely. – Amen.