Yes football season is here and being an American male, I love to watch it. My girls are daddy's girls and love to learn about things. Football + Curiosity + Little Divas = STRESSED OUT FOOTBALL WATCHING!!!
I love my girls, please understand that, but.... I will go back to Saturday, we were watching the Ohio State game and the girls had asked me which team they should like. I explained daddy likes the red team (scarlet, but hey they are 3 and 5 and I am not about to get into explaining scarlet is a kind of red - I have already been defeated by their logic this week, needed to save my manhood). ESPN was updating the scores and as every update flashed on the screen and the highlights, the questions came at me rapid fire! " Who is the blue team?" "Do we like that white team?" "Is that the team that always scores touchdowns?" However, staying true to my Buckeye roots, when the Michigan highlights came on, I had to say that WE DON'T LIKE THAT BLUE TEAM. Hey, let them make their own choices, but just say no to crack. - j/k
Now we are at Sunday, thinking I had paid my dues yesterday I attempted to watch the NFL games... I thought I had it covered, talked it up that we were going to have a football party. So we had hot dogs and chips, they were even so excited they helped clean up and dust the house! Yes, polish that Father of the Year trophy please! They were so excited, they made their beds and everything... I admit I had a little bounce in my step as I ran the vacuum. Soon my reality would hit, my little angles would be come chatty Cathy dolls, oh and football experts.
"Daddy why does the coach stand there like that? Why are you changing channels? Do we like the white team or the red team? Why did they kick the ball like that? Who is offense? Who is defense? What is offense?..." This barrage occurred before the first commercial break!
Then I started saying to myself "Patience is a virtue, duct tape is not an option! They are little girls, I am doing their future husbands a favor. He will thank me for enduring this pain. If I can get them to at least tolerate the game and a basic understanding, then I have succeeded!" So now I was on a mission, one bigger than myself - one for all men everywhere.
Just then the Saints scored a touchdown, little did I know that I was about to be devastated. My oldest daughter looked at me and said, "That is not a touchdown he went out of bounds!" OK in some cases that would be great, my baby gets it. Though that was not the case. She was upset because he went out of the end zone during his celebration. This started a whole new line of questioning about out of bounds etc....
Again defeated by a five year old, I licked my wounds and did what any man would do in the same situation. When your manhood is in danger, change the subject! "Who wants an otter pop?" Hey you have to use what you have and at least while they are eating that, the questions are coming at me a little slower!
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