Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt? When they hurt, you hurt? The most important thing to you is their happiness and well being? I can not find the words to explain how I feel, I am numb. Nothing really matters, the day is a haze. My mind is clouded by a fog and I see her face everywhere I look. My pulse quickens when my phone rings but is soon saddened when it is not the number I am longing for. My thoughts are filled with what could be and hope, anxiously awaiting my fate.
Why is it so hard to allow ourselves to experience what is good in life? We continually expect to be hurt and disappointed. I know that life has dealt us all more than our "fair share" of heart ache and pain - maybe so much so that we no longer allow ourselves to hope in fear of being disappointed.
I believe that we are not created to go through life alone, that we all have at least one person that we are destined to meet and they are there to support us and build us up. That through this relationship we will achieve more than we could alone. God did not create us to be isolated, he created us to be social - it is our nature. Isolation is not by His design, it comes through the pain caused by the world and its disappointments.
I am not sure where my path will take me - hopefully it is with them by my side. I want to be with my best friend, share myself completely and accept each other totally. Hopefully they will see that and want the same, until then all I can do is wait.
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