Proverbs 11:9 "With his mouth the godless destroys his neighbor, but through knowledge the righteous escape."
Proverbs 11:12 "A man who lacks judgement derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue."
Think of your "enemy". Someone who seems out to ruin you, no matter how kind of nice you try to be, they just respond with something nasty. You know before you open your mouth that even the simplest words, "Hi, nice day isn't it?" will be met with hostility. You can do nothing to change their heart, their actions, or the way they treat you - NOTHING. Accepting that you can not change them is so incredibly difficult, it goes against our instincts. Somewhere deep down we have this sense of fairness and a desire to solve things, we convince ourselves that if we are nice to them they will suddenly see that they have no justification to be mean and things will at least be peaceful. The truth is simple; they do not need a reason to not like you, they do not need to justify anything, they are just acting on how they feel or perceive things - no reason, no logic, just action.
Their nastiness does not give us the right, as Christians, to respond to them any differently. We need to reflect God's love and remain consistent in our actions, but we should also understand that some people will reject us because of it too. These verses are a reminder that we are not to simply respond to those people in the same manner they attack us, we are to constantly strive to build up and lift up - not tear down. If we get pulled into that trap eventually we have two battered and broken people with emotional scars that will last so much longer than our brief spat... It is just not worth it.
Why not be prayerful about the situation? When you know you are going to face them, spend time in prayer first. Ask God to strengthen you and show you how to handle the situation before you find yourself in the middle - be prepared. Ask God to use you in a way that is consistent with His character and so that you may reflect His love in you and that nothing you do will diminish His work. - Though be careful, God might just tell you to bite your tongue and turn the other cheek.... though in the end you will both be blessed and you will not be burdened with the guilt, un-forgiveness, etc that you would have if you just responded from your flesh.
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